


underneath the stars we came alive

by 99spearb



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 21:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19411759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/99spearb/pseuds/99spearb
Summary: Jisung might be miles away from his house, but as long as Chan is with him, he's home.Or, 4 times Chan was Jisung's first, and the 1 time Jisung was his.





	underneath the stars we came alive

1.

first friend.

He very vaguely remembers his mom introducing them to each other when he was 7; Chan was 8 at the time, and he and his family just moved into the apartment building next door, from a country 7 year old Jisung has never heard of. Whether they became friends because their personalities just  _ clicked,  _ or because they were the only kids in the neighborhood, is unclear; but them knowing each other sure felt like it was destined to happen. 

The only things Jisung remembers from his childhood clearly, is all the time he spent playing with Chan. 

Every day after coming home from school, he'd either go to Chan's apartment, or persuade the older boy to come play outside. He remembers of them playing hide and seek around the apartment building in summer, watching cartoons together in winter, even one hazy memory of Chan giving him a piggyback ride back to his house after Jisung has fallen off his bike. The days that either of them were sick seemed to have lasted forever, as none of them had any other friends to hang out with. 

As close as they used to be as children, things changed once they got older. 

They were still best friends, of course, but they eventually found other people to hang out with and, with school getting more and more stressful with each year, they simply didn't have time for each other. Living next to each other meant that they saw each other every morning, but only had time for a tired greeting and a short conversation about how everything's going. 

The two of them only ever hung out in summer, spending every day at each other's places, the weather too hot to go outside. Their parents, now close friends, always made sure to go on vacation together - a way of making sure their children would never be bored.

Over all those trips and all the times they spent together, Jisung began to associate Chan with summer; with the warmth of sun on his skin, the taste of ice cream on his tongue, the loudness of a summer storm. Chan, with his warm hands and radiant smile, was one of the only things he looked forward to after school ended every year. 

Out of all the people in his life, Chan was someone he treasured the most. He was the first person Jisung really trusted, the first person to treat him like his 

own family, the first person to make him feel what it's like to not be  _ lonely,  _ what it's like to have someone he can talk to about everything and anything. 

  
  
  


2.

first person jisung comes out to.

Jisung realized he's gay at 14, after years of not understanding why all his classmates tried so hard to get a girlfriend - girls were usually pretty and kind to him, but he could never feel any sort of attraction to them. He couldn't imagine kissing or holding hands with his female friends; something about it felt off. 

What felt more off, is what he really felt. He learned pretty early on in his life, that boys were  _ not _ supposed to like other boys; no one ever told him that explicitly, but the offhanded comments his parents made when they saw a gay couple in TV, or the jokes his friends made when he would accidentally get too close to one of them, stung. He couldn't even think about telling his parents about that, much more less the people he hung out with at school - it was not an option in his books.

But Chan? Chan was different; he was always openly supportive of LGBT+ people, always stepping in when he saw someone getting made fun of, recommended Jisung books or TV shows with as much representation as possible. Jisung's sure the older has had crushes on boys in the past. 

He's 15 when he comes out. 

Chan's 16, and he's soon moving out to a bigger city to go to a fancy art school; the two of them will only be able to see each other once a month if they're lucky. It's his dream, and all Jisung wants is for the older to be happy, but there's that selfish part of him who wants to keep his best friend as close as possible. He already knows how hard it's going to be, having to go through high school without his friend there, without being able to rant to him after classes, without being able to come over to Chan's place and listen to music and destress. 

During their last summer before that, Jisung decides to come out, because the scenario is pretty clear in his mind - Chan either accepts it and moves on,  _ or _ becomes disgusted, moves out and never talks to him again.

The day is warm and humid, the clouds passing over the sky lazily, a storm brewing on the horizon. They're at Chan's apartment, both of his parents at work, leaving them alone. The older decided that they should go get ice cream before it rains, and right before they leave, Jisung decides it's time. 

"Are you ready?" Chan asks, keys dangling from his fingers. 

Jisung holds his arms behind his back to hide how badly they're shaking. He hasn't practiced, or even thought much about how he was going to do it. "Actually," he starts, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something." 

Mildly concerned, Chan puts away his keys. "Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, I just…" Jisung chuckles awkwardly, deliberately avoiding eye contact. It all seems like a bad idea, despite him trusting Chan with his life and  _ knowing _ how accepting Chan is, a part of his brain is yelling at him how that's gonna ruin their friendship, make Chan not want to touch him ever again, how everyone at school will find out and torment him. The nerves wrap tight around his throat, rendering him speechless for a few moments before he decides to speak; and he says it all in one breath, almost too fast to understand, shaky and high pitched from the anxiety, but he does it. 

"I'm gay. And I just thought you should know, because we're friends and sometimes I get a little uncomfortable when you talk or ask me about girls-- not that you should stop, but it's just something I don't like talking about a-and it's cool if you're not okay with it, because if you are then I can just leave and--"

"Jisung." Chan cuts him off mid-rant, eyes sparkling with amusement. 

"Yes?" Jisung finally takes a breath, chest heaving slightly. His heart pounds so hard in his chest, he's sure Chan can hear it. 

"It's okay," Chan smiles and it is as if the world stops abruptly. The only things that exist in that moment are his best friend's warm eyes and the rapid pounding of his heart; and Jisung has never felt this relieved. "Thank you for telling me, Sungie. I'm sure it wasn't easy. "

And Jisung  _ cries, _ because he doesn't know what else to do. He covers his face with his hands and sobs, feeling as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders, because while he knows Chan, better than he knows himself, nothing has ever made him so nervous. 

Chan laughs, the sound not mocking, but rather a surprised reaction, and pulls Jisung into his arms, swaying side to side lightly. "You're okay," he chuckles into his ear, and it's warm and airy and Jisung has never felt more safe and accepted than he does in his arms. "I'll support you no matter what, Sung."

"Thank you," Jisung hiccups, letting himself enjoy being held for a few more minutes before he pulls away, wiping his face furiously.  _ "Fuck,  _ I wasn't supposed to cry, sorry--" he chokes out an awkward laugh, focusing his eyes on the tips of his sneakers. His ears burn in embarrassment, but his chest glows with relief. 

The older ruffles his hair fondly, and Jisung doesn't have to look up to know he's looking at him with the softest look on his face. "It's okay," he repeats, smile obvious in his voice. "Do you still want ice cream? I'll pay." 

  
  


And that's it. Chan knows, and nothing changes between them. He's still Jisung's best friend, still the same person he always was, and Jisung has no idea what he would do without him.

  
  
  


3.

first crush. 

Well, first actual crush, that is. He's  _ liked _ other boys before; the nice cashier from the convenience store down the street, the exchange student with pretty eyes, a mutual friend he saw at a party once. But out of all of them, Chan is the only one that makes his stomach flip with excitement when they meet and his heart skip a beat whenever he smiles. 

He's 16 when he realizes; he's laying in his bed, squinting at the bright light emanating from his phone, staring at a text message. 

  
  


**_from: clown boy_ **

_ i miss you:( _

They haven't seen each other since Chan moved out - the older is only home once or twice a month since his school is so far away, and he's always spending time with family, or his other friends. Jisung, too, busy with school and his own friends, always finds himself unavailable. The texts and video calls help a little, but Jisung would be lying if he said he didn't miss the feeling of Chan's arms around him, the sound of his laugh, the sparkling of his eyes whenever he got too invested in a story he was telling. 

It's then that he realizes, that it goes far beyond him just missing his best friend. He wants Chan to be  _ with  _ him, to kiss his forehead when he's sad and hold his hands when they're walking together. He wants to make Chan laugh with his silly jokes and watch the stars with him on warm summer nights-

_ I'm doomed,  _ Jisung thinks to himself. 

He stares at the text message for another few minutes, trying to ignore how warm it makes him feel, before he responds.

**_to: clown boy_ **

_ i miss you too!! :( _

_ next time you're home im coming over whether you like it or not  _

  
  


With that, he slides his phone under his pillow and tries to ignore the Chan shaped hole in his heart as he falls asleep. 

He tries his best to not think about it - Chan is, and will always be  _ just  _ a best friend. If Jisung coming out didn't ruin their friendship, a confession surely would. But, the older is a naturally affectionate person as it is and clings onto Jisung every second he's awake, so,  _ maybe,  _ Jisung will be okay with just the platonic touches and  _ maybe,  _ he'll stop being in love with his best friend. 

Jisung, being the fool that he is, just finds himself falling even more when they finally see each other. 

Seeing how Chan has changed over the past few months on social media was one thing, but seeing him  _ in person?  _ Jisung was sure he was going to pass out the second he saw him. Chan looks like the physical embodiment of art school, with bleached blonde hair and smoky eye makeup, dressed in clothes that somehow manage to look simultaneously neat and messy at the same time. 

Jisung feels his heart flutter nervously at the sight; if he didn't know Chan, he'd be scared shitless at how  _ intimidating _ he looks. But Chan looks at him for a few seconds, and then his lips stretch into the widest, most radiant smile he's ever seen and Jisung feels at home. 

"Hi." Jisung breathes out, a grin already on his face, slowly letting himself into Chan's apartment. The second the door clicks closed, he feels the older boy pull him into a hug and squeeze the air out of his lungs. 

Chan laughs into his ear, talking about how much he missed him and how much Jisung has changed, and Jisung's heart feels like it may stop from how hard it's beating. Chan's arms are warm and strong around him and Jisung just squeezes him back, wishing they could stay like that for longer. 

"I didn't change as much as you did," Jisung argues when he's finally let go, trailing behind Chan into the kitchen. "You're too cool for me now." He laughs, but it's laced with the tiniest hint of insecurity. He's always felt  _ inadequate  _ compared to Chan, who was  _ beautiful _ , an amazing artist, amazing at sports, amazing at singing, dancing, rapping - anything Chan did, he was always amazing at. And Jisung? 

Jisung was average. His face was average, his personality was average, he wasn't really bad at anything he did, but he didn't excel at it in the same way Chan did.

He thinks of all the social media posts, of Chan and his new friends from his new school, his roommates at the dorm be lives in that he seems to always have by his side.  _ They're better than you,  _ his mind taunts,  _ he'll stop talking to you sooner or later,  _ it says, driving sharp spikes of insecurity into his chest. 

Chan laughs at his comment, but concern tints the edges of his voice when he speaks. "Hey, you know I'll never be too cool for you, Sung." He says as he makes tea for the two of them, pacing around the kitchen while he waits for the water to boil. "You look like you'd beat my ass if I looked at you wrong." 

"Oh, I totally would." Jisung answers with a smug grin, briefly glancing down at the heavy chain around his neck. They're not dressed  _ that _ differently, he supposes, but while Jisung looks like the angsty teenager that he is, Chan looks  _ cool,  _ like the perfect edgy-looking-but-still-soft boy from the front page of Tumblr. 

They eventually end up going to the older boy's bedroom, Chan telling him all about his new school and the people he's meeting, the adventures he goes on in the new city. He looks genuinely happy when he talks about it - and Chan was never the person to like school that much, because he felt too restricted. This, however - his eyes sparkle when he talks about his art teacher, he gesticulates wildly while talking about a funny situation with his roommate, and Jisung silently wishes Chan could stay in that state of happiness for the rest of his life. 

Jisung talks about his life, although none of his stories have the same amount of enthusiasm in them - there really isn't much to talk about. School's still just as stressful, he still only has one friend there that he feels comfortable with. Chan looks at him attentively as he speaks, smiling when they make eye contact, making Jisung's ears and cheeks burn. The older boy smiling could cure him of any illness he has, he briefly thinks, since every time Chan smiles his stomach flips at how  _ ethereal _ he looks, and sends a rush of warmth over him at how  _ kind _ and  _ soft _ Chan's eyes are when they stare into his. 

"So, everything's okay?" He asks after Jisung is done speaking, only a hint of worry in his voice. He knows that Jisung doesn't deal with stress that well, and has the tendency to not tell anyone until he's reached his breaking point, because he's  _ always been there _ whenever anything happened. 

"Yeah." Jisung nods, smiling at the older boy to reassure him somehow. He's sitting in the desk chair, spinning himself side to side slowly while Chan watches from his bed with amusement. 

The older look at him, a teasing grin on his lips. "You don't miss me at all?" 

Jisung shakes his head and tries not to think about how amazing Chan looks when he smiles, eyes crinkling and dimples showing. The worry he's shown earlier settles like a blanket over his shoulders, making him feel  _ warm _ and cared for in a way no one else makes him feel.

Chan flops down on the bed dramatically, clutching his heart. "I've dedicated the last 9 years of my life to you, and this is what I get?" He wails, chucking a stuffed animal at Jisung's face. 

"Maybe if you texted me more often." Jisung pouts, clutching the plush to his chest. He's being a little dramatic, of course, but Chan  _ never _ texted him first  _ and _ took forever to reply almost every single time - and while it's not the older boy's fault, since he's probably very busy, it doesn't help Jisung's anxiety about losing him. 

"Oh, come on! You know how bad I am at texting," Chan argues, sounding like a whiny child. Jisung feels his lips curl into a smile subconsciously. "Besides, I'm  _ here _ now, ready to make it up to you!" He exclaims, spreading his arms and motioning for Jisung to come lay down with him. 

_ Right,  _ Jisung realizes belatedly when his heart speeds up.  _ They cuddle. Platonically, of course. It's a thing they do.  _

He gets up slowly, walking over to the bed and laying down next to Chan, shooting him a judgmental glare. "You're not gonna be able to make it up to me with just hugs," he states, lightly hitting him with the stuffed animal he's still holding. "I expect food and apologies."

_ And maybe a kiss. A kiss would be nice.  _

The older lets out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes with a smile. "I'll buy you food later," he laughs, pulling Jisung closer so that he's laying on his chest and wraps both arms around him. "Can't I just spend some  _ quality time _ with my favorite boy first?" 

Jisung grins, ignoring how the words sent a wave of warmth through his entire body. It felt good that despite all, Chan still calls him his favorite. 

He also tries to ignore how much  _ at home _ he feels with Chan's arms around him, how much hearing his heartbeat makes all the tension leave his body. None of his other friends are affectionate with him, and neither are his parents - the past few months have been  _ hell  _ for him, seeing as Jisung is a person that thrives on physical affection. Now, Chan is warm and solid underneath him, and some part of Jisung feels like he could  _ cry _ because he missed being held like this. 

"This is nice," he mumbles, voice slightly muffled by the fabric of Chan's shirt. "Maybe I did miss you a little bit." 

Chan lets out a small, fond laugh at that. When he brings his hand up to run his fingers through Jisung's hair, it makes him basically melt into the older's hold. "Your hair's a mess." He comments idly, tugging lightly at individual strands. 

Jisung huffs quietly, the exhaustion after a whole week of school catching up to him finally. "Yeah, 'cause I cut it myself." He mutters sleepily, blinking harshly to keep himself awake. Chan giggles, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like  _ "of course you did".  _

They fall silent after that, enjoying each other's presence after spending so long without each other. Chan plays music from his phone at one point, one of his hands not leaving Jisung's hair. Jisung's sure he dozed off a couple times, the only thing on his mind being that he  _ wants _ that for the rest of his life, because everything seems easier with Chan around. 

4.

first kiss.

Jisung has no idea how he let himself get talked into going on vacation with Chan, his friends, and his own friends. He's sure the only reason his mother allowed him to go, is because Chan's 18 and with a driver's license, and she seems to like him more than she likes Jisung. 

He's only mildly freaked out, since he has never met Chan's art school friends and he's absolutely  _ terrified  _ of them possibly disliking him,  _ and _ he's not sure how his friends will get along with them. 

Hyunjin and Felix, his two only friends from school, claim that he doesn't have to worry since they can get along with just about everyone. But Jisung has seen Chan's best friends and roommates on social media and  _ maybe  _ he's just being a little paranoid but they look incredibly intimidating and ridiculously attractive. Why can't Chan have more average looking friends? 

As much as Jisung stresses over every possible thing that could go wrong when he packs for the trip, it doesn't start off that bad; because as it turns out, being stuck in a car with 5 other people for 6 hours is a great bonding experience. Chan's best friends, Minho and Changbin, are a lot less intimidating when they're not wearing makeup and running on not nearly enough hours of sleep. That, and all 6 of them are naturally talkative - which means any initial awkwardness is quickly gone and halfway into the drive Jisung already feels comfortable. 

The trip was  _ uncomfortably  _ long, but Jisung feels incredibly relieved when they finally arrive at their destination. They decided to rent two small cabins in a quiet seaside town, a 20 minute walk to the nearest beach; he figures all of them need that kind of peace and quiet, even if it's just for a week. 

On their fourth night there, Jisung finds out that his  _ crush _ on Chan may not be as subtle as he thinks - maybe he spent a second too long staring, maybe his hand lingered on his for too long, maybe he's just being too obvious. 

Maybe Chan's friends are just too observant. 

They're sitting in one of the cabins playing games - it's been raining the whole day, so it's not like they had anything else to do besides that. Two hours into a very intense game of Monopoly, they decide to take a break seeing as Changbin is about to start yelling in frustration and Felix looks to be seconds away from a mental breakdown because of how close he is to bankruptcy.

Minho stops halfway towards the door, shaking a pack of cigarettes; wordlessly asking if anyone's coming with him. Jisung grabs his own back from the pocket of his jacket and goes after him, ignoring the disappointed Chan look sends him. The older has never approved of his nicotine habit, but Jisung has never cared enough to drop it. 

"So," Minho starts, leaning back against the porch railing casually. "Since when are you and Chan a thing?" 

Jisung almost drops the cigarette on his shirt, heart sinking. "We're not?" It comes out more as a question, his voice at least an octave higher than usual. "I mean- we're friends. That's it." 

As he blows out the smoke slowly, the corner of Minho's lips curls into a smirk. "Just friends, huh?" He mutters in response, the look in his eyes teasing. "That explains a lot."

"Explains  _ what?"  _ Jisung questions, feeling himself getting defensive already. Minho is too observant for his own good, and it bothers him slightly. 

The older doesn't elaborate on that, just shaking his head with a cat-like grin. When they're done smoking and walk back into the cabin, he puts his hand on Jisung's arm, sending him a playful wink. "Don't worry, Jisungie, your secret's safe with me. For now."

_ For now? _

He can't focus on anything else for the rest of the night, suddenly hyperaware of every little thing - Chan leaning into him when he laughs, the hand on his back that lingers for a second too long, the way the older boy laughs the loudest when it's Jisung making a joke. He sees Minho staring at them out of the corner of his eye, the same smug look on his face. 

  
  
  
  


_ ("What's up with you today?" Hyunjin asks later that night, when the three of them are about to go to sleep.  _

_ Jisung lays restless, listening to the chirping of crickets outside. "I think I'm in love with Chan."  _

_ Felix sighs. "Yeah, we know. What about it?"  _

_ Choking on his own spit, Jisung sits up, staring at his friends in alarm. "What do you mean 'we know'?" _

_ A pillow hits him in the face not too long after that. "You look at him like he hung all the stars in the sky and talk like he's the only good thing in your life. Now, can we please just go the fuck to sleep?" Hyunjin grumbles angrily. Jisung throws the pillow back at him, and lays down again.)  _

  
  
  


Nothing happens until the last night they're there. 

They all decide to hang out at the beach for the whole evening, to watch the sunset and then the stars. After stopping by a few stores, to pick up  _ way  _ too much ice cream and not nearly enough alcohol (Chan can't get drunk since he's driving tomorrow, which means that neither can they. Solidarity, Changbin says.) they finally arrive at the beach. It's almost completely empty, which is definitely strange but none of them mind. 

He has to admit, the sunset really is beautiful. It spills like fire over the water, the sun almost sinking down into the horizon; it basks everything around them in a warm orange glow, the sand, the metal railings of the pier above them. Jisung, despite all, still finds his eyes focused on Chan, the way the light hits his face and makes him appear even more ethereal than usual. 

He's  _ so  _ radiant and  _ so _ full of love, and it's so obvious in the way he laughs loudly with an arm wrapped around Changbin's shoulders, face scrunched up and eyes turned into crescents. 

Jisung doesn't realize he's staring until he feels Felix nudge him with his elbow, looking at him with a knowing smile. He looks down, embarrassment burning his cheeks. 

The sun goes down slowly as they talk, the music filtering from Hyunjin's phone carrying sound all around the empty beach. The air's growing colder as well, the wind picking up and sending goosebumps all over Jisung's body. 

"You know what we should do?" Minho suggests, clapping his hands excitedly. It's completely dark around them now, the nearest streetlights not even reaching them. Jisung shares a concerned look with Changbin - none of Minho's ideas ever sound safe. "We should go for a swim." 

Felix raises his eyebrows, grinning. "I'm down." 

Changbin laughs and shakes his head. "You go do that, I'll go check if there's any more stores open. Anyone wants to come with me?" He asks, getting up and brushing the sand off his clothes. Hyunjin groans something about there being sand  _ in _ his clothes, and gets up, following the older boy. 

Jisung watches as the four leave, Hyunjin and Changbin walking towards the empty streets, Minho and Felix running towards the water; he stares at them with amusement for a while, before he gets up. "I think I'm gonna go up there," he jerks his head in the vague direction of the pier next to them, looking at Chan. "You coming?" 

The older looks at him for a few seconds from where he's laying back in the sand, nodding after a few beats. "Yeah, I'll join you in a second." 

He sends Chan a small smile in response before he walks away, slowly making his way up to the pier. He shivers involuntarily, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep warm as he walks. 

The beach is different at night. While it's usually a place that's very  _ loud,  _ very  _ alive _ , at the moment it just seems like someone pressed the pause button. The waves are crashing against the shore, and in that moment Jisung becomes very aware of everything around him; the strong wind ruffling his hair, the distant yells of Felix, the slight buzz of alcohol coursing through his veins, but mostly, how free he's feeling. His head is empty now, no thoughts left as he inhales the cool air and tips his head back for a moment, just to look at the stars. They're brighter than he's ever seen them, thousands of twinkling lights against the velvet backdrop of the night sky. A part of him wishes he could stay like that for a little longer, just a few more days before they leave. 

"It's really nice out there." Chan's voice comes up from behind him, and Jisung turns away, back pressed against the cold railing. 

Jisung hums in response. "It is. I'm glad I came here." 

The older walks closer and closer, until he's basically crowding Jisung against the metal bars. There's a smile on his face, but there's something different about it - it's softer, more fond. "I'm glad you're here too." 

They stare at each other in silence, and Jisung's absolutely captivated by the wind moving Chan's hair out of his face, the dim light reflecting off the chain on his neck, his eyes filled with happiness when they make eye contact. And if his eyes flicker to Chan's lips more than it is acceptable - well, no one comments on that. 

"Jisung?" Chan asks, voice quiet. 

"Hm?"

"Can I kiss you?" 

Everything stops for a while; and Jisung is unsure if it's the water below him, or just the rushing of blood in his ears. For a few painfully long seconds, he stares at Chan in shock before nodding a couple times. 

Then, Chan kisses him. He tastes like beer and strawberry ice cream, and his hand is cradling his jaw so gently he can barely feel it. The night around them is cold, but Jisung has never felt warmer.

When they pull back, foreheads pressed against each other, Jisung can't help but grin. "I would've never thought you'd be my first kiss," he whispers, giddy happiness filling his entire body. Chan looks at him with eyes full of love and adoration, and kisses him again and, for those few seconds, nothing else matters. 

Jisung might be miles away from his house, but as long as Chan is with him, he's home. 

  
  
  
  


"I told you they were going to get together before we go back." Minho comments, smiling widely when Changbin opens his wallet and hands him a bill. 

  
  
  
  
  


+1

first love 

In his 18 years of living, Chan has had his fair share of feelings. Whether it was a short lasting relationship, or simply a hookup, he knew what it was like to feel strongly about someone. 

And Chan knows, that he fell in love with Jisung a long, long, time ago; he cannot say when exactly it happened, because for the past 10 years, he has been steadily falling for the boy, and he became to accustomed to the feeling he hasn't even noticed when something changed.

Because loving Jisung was easy - as easy as waking up in the morning, as easy as breathing. He's always heard that love is hard, and yet, falling for Jisung was the easiest thing he's ever done. 

And he can't imagine  _ not _ being in love, with the boy who holds entire galaxies in his eyes, who's smile could rival the Sun itself. He can't imagine seeing his face and not having his heart do flips in his chest. 

Chan realizes, at some point, that he's always loved Jisung. It wasn't one thing that made him fall; rather, it was the happiness, it was the way being around him made Chan feel loved and warm. 

He might've had brief feelings for other people, but he knows that it's always been Jisung that truly owned his heart.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it!! 
> 
> kudos/comments very appreciated!!


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